BONUS VIDEO: Healthy Relationships Are A Huge Part Of True Wealth | Ashley Taggart

Our pilot effort to start exploring forms of wealth that matter more than money

We're going to do something a little different in today's video.

This Thoughtful Money channel is all about wealth-building. So it makes sense that we focus most of our attention on money.

But money is a means to an end. It's not an end in and of itself.

No one's goal in life is to die atop a big pile of cash -- instead we hope to use our money to better enjoy the things that really feed our souls.

As those who live to be 100 years old tell us, true wealth, the things that really matter in life, are a function of the following three things: fulfilling relationships, purpose and health.

So, as a number of you have asked for, I'm going to periodically interview experts on these key topics.

And today we're going to focus on what makes for successful happy relationships.

To help us understand what makes or breaks the important relationships in our lives, I've invited a professional marriage & family therapist today. Ashley Taggart is a licensed MFT, trained in Emotion-Focused Therapy (otherwise known as EFT) and the Gottman Method of couples therapy -- Drs John & Julie Gottman we're made famous by Malcolm Gladwell's coverage of them in his book "Blink" describing how they could predict with near 90% accuracy whether or not a couple will remain together after interviewing them for only 3 minutes.

In her California practice, Ashley deals with clients from all backgrounds, many of whom are Silicon Valley power-couples, though she also sees her fair share of rural farmers.

I would be remiss if I didn't also acknowledge that Ashley is my wife. So I can personally vouch for both her professional credentials as well as the effectiveness of the strategies for conflict resolution she'll share with us in today's discussion. Because we have put plenty of them to use in our own marriage -- which just celebrated its 24th anniversary last week.

Let know if you enjoy this pilot exploration with Ashley on relationships. If you do, I’ll get to work on finding similar experts to interview on purpose and health.

To learn the keys to healthy relationships, click here or on the video below:

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Adam’s Notes: Ashley Taggart (recorded 9.12.24)

EXECUTIVE SUMMARY:

• In her therapy practice, Ashley identifies four major sources of conflict in relationships: money, sex, children, and in-laws. These “big four” topics commonly trigger arguments, but conflict itself is a normal and even healthy aspect of relationships. Ashley stresses that conflicts should not be avoided but rather viewed as opportunities to deepen understanding and improve the relationship. She notes that many couples lack the skills to engage constructively in conflict due to past experiences or poor role models in conflict resolution.

• Conflict is a natural part of any relationship, but many people view it as something negative or to be avoided. Ashley explains that conflict can be a tool for growth when approached correctly. Often, conflicts arise from surface-level triggers, but the root causes are deeper emotional needs or unresolved issues from one’s past. Couples who learn to view conflict as a way to understand each other better can strengthen their bond. Instead of focusing on what triggered the conflict, it’s important to explore the deeper emotional dynamics at play.

• Ashley highlights the concept of perpetual versus fixable problems, a key insight from the Gottman Method. Approximately 80% of conflicts in relationships are based on perpetual problems, meaning they stem from fundamental personality differences that are unlikely to change, such as one partner being extroverted and the other introverted. The goal is not to fix these problems but to learn how to manage them. Successful couples are those who can accept each other’s differences and find ways to coexist with these perpetual challenges, rather than constantly trying to change each other.

• Couples often find themselves stuck in